Why Charlotte's Web is the Perfect Book to Read to a Six Year Old

I've recently read Charlotte's Web out loud to two little boys, ages 4 and 6, and it was amazing. I then tried reading a couple different books to them and it wasn't quite a good. (I think the ideal place to read this book is with a child, actually. I'd read it as an adult before silently and it wasn't nearly as good.) Here is why Charlotte's Web is so good..

1. It is a simple story that isn't overly complicated but still grabs their attention.

2. The book is the perfect length...184 pages. The boys loved looking at page 100, for some reason, and they were always astounded at having read so many pages! Also, the chapters are the perfect length for two boys' attention spans. We read a chapter together during lunch and by the end of the chapter...they would always beg me to read one more!  I knew that I'd lose their attention if we did so I'd make them wait. By the next day they would be begging for lunch time so we could read more about Wilbur and Charlotte!

3. It is about basic things like loneliness and friendship. Being scared and being brave. There were multiple occasions that I'd  talk to the boys about their days at school and they'd be going through similar stuff to what Wilbur was going through! Once I picked up the six year old from school and he said no one wanted to play with him at recess that day. And I was reminded at just how hard all that friendship stuff is when you are little (and sometimes even when you're an adult!). You are constantly trying to figure out what a friend is, who your friend  are, etc. We had this great conversation about Wilbur feeling the same thing in the book--being lonely and scared. But that in a couple chapters, he was going to find a great friend! It was a very sweet moment to see the six year old identifying with Wilbur and feeling hope that maybe tomorrow he'd find someone to play with at recess!

3. The story is about a pig and a spider! The boys have always thought spiders were terrifying--just like Wilbur did when he first met Charlotte! It was so cute to see them change their attitude about Charlotte. They also loved the name Wilbur. One day the 4 year old ran up to me after preschool and he said..."We read a book about Wilbur! But today he was an elephant not a pig!" It was great to see him thinking and connecting with the story, too.

4. It touches upon death but does it in a safe way. The 6 year old is pretty scared of the idea of death. Whenever anyone mentions death, he usually covers his ears. I wasn't sure how he was going to take the threat of Wilbur being killed or even the end of the book. During those parts, I'd notice that he wasn't chewing his food anymore but rather staring intently at me as I read. Sometimes I'd put the book down and we'd talk about what was going on, but usually he'd accept that part of the book and could continue on. E.B. White makes the end hopeful and...warm. The last chapter is called "A Warm Wind" and it is just the perfect title for it. It isn't scary...it is a little sad...but still okay!

5. Its a fun one to read out loud....especially the chaotic parts involving the goose! The boys loved it when I did different voices and you could see them imagining everything going on. The book also has this simple, nostalgic feel to it.


I hope you are able to enjoy this experience, too! Don't rush through the book but take the time to talk about what you read and connect it to their lives. Its a good book to do that with!

2013 Reading Goal: The Bean Trees & Pigs in Heaven

The latest books on my 2013 reading challenge are The Bean Trees and Pigs in Heaven both by Barbara Kingsolver.

Rating: 5 stars (The Bean Trees) and 4 stars (Pigs in Heaven)

I first read The Bean Trees back in 2006, I believe. I remember really enjoying the book, but by 2013 I had completely forgotten why. So I decided to reread it…one of my favorite things to do. There is something exciting about revisiting a book to see if it holds true to you. I’m always wondering if my experiences with books are affected by what books I had just read, where I’m at emotionally, who recommended a book to me, etc. When a book can ring true with me even with a 7 year gap in between…yep, those are the good ones.

And The Bean Trees is one of them. In fact, I think I might have loved it even more the second time through. I seriously devoured this book. I read it in an incredibly short amount of time because I just couldn’t put it down. I immediately went out and purchased Pigs in Heaven because I couldn’t bear thinking that I had to leave the world of Taylor Greer.  I seriously finished The Bean Trees and then immediately started Pigs in Heaven and…well…eh…it lost some of its sparkle.

This made me start thinking why this could be. And I’ve come up with two reasons.

1.       Pigs in Heaven is told from different perspectives so you see a more encompassing world

2.       And in this world, Taylor Greer is lost, scared, and depressed

When you start The Beans Trees, you meet this determined girl who is ready to escape her small town life…and she does it. She hops in her beat up bug and just starts driving. Taylor is tough, spunky, and spirited. She says what she wants and isn’t often scared. She is everything I like in my lead female characters.  She goes through challenging times and has low moments but overall she is confident and secure in who she is.

So suddenly I start Pigs in Heaven and I have to start reading about these other characters who are in Taylor’s life. Like her mom who was left behind in the small town Taylor escaped. And her boyfriend, Jax, who doesn’t really know if Taylor likes him or not. And even about people from the Indian Reservation who weren’t painted in the greatest light in The Bean Trees. No, no, no, I thought. I just wanted to go back to Taylor Greer’s world where she can learn, grow, and still be her wonderful, spunky self. Nope. In fact, Barbara Kingsolver actually takes you one step further out of your happy Bean Tree world. She makes your beloved strong Taylor Greer into someone who is scared, lost, and depressed. And in a very believable way. Taylor is threatened (I won’t go into the whole story…just read it) and so she runs. Kingsolver has struck the one chord that can make Taylor vulnerable and scared enough to run.

Whaat?! Taylor Greer isn’t supposed to run from challenges! And this is when I flung the book aside and figured I’d just reread The Bean Trees again. But the more I started thinking about this…the more I realized that Barbra Kingsolver was a genius.

She made Taylor be vulnerable. She made her be scared. And isn’t this a much more believable and more real character than the I-just-graduated-high-school-and-I-can-do-and-say-and-be-anything? Taylor has to depend on other people to help her see what the right thing is.  She needs help from the very people she has somewhat pushed aside in the past. Suddenly, Taylor is more human. Yeah she might not be as fun to read about…but she reflects a truer version of what a strong woman is. She is now someone who sometimes struggles, someone who has to be vulnerable, and someone who needs help.

So while I didn’t always love the journey…overall the combo between The Bean Trees and Pigs in Heaven is necessary to see an inspiring character grow realistically. Kingsolver gives an honest depiction of a strong woman actually living in this big world of ours.

______________________________________________________________

As I mentioned in my 2013 goal, I’m reading mostly women lit that focuses on women authors or complicated, strong female characters this year. Here is the list of my previous book reviews that I've done on this journey:

First: Madame Bovary
Second: Hypocrite in a Pouffy White Dress
Third: Patron Saint of Liars 
Fourth: Bird by Bird
Fifth: Frida Kahlo
Sixth: Women Seeing Women  
Seventh: Bridget Jones's Diary 
Eighth: Dorothy Parker's Complete Short Stories 
Ninth: The Heart is a Lonely Hunter

2013 Reading Goal: The Heart is a Lonely Hunter

My latest book on my 2013 reading challenge is The Heart is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers.

Rating: 5 Stars





 
Carson McCullers wrote an amazing story that is dark, lonely, sad, and filled with beautifully flawed, complex characters.  The book is very political--deals with fascism, socialism, religion, and the plight of the African Americans in the South. And to top it all off, McCullers was only 23 years old at the time!

The book is centered around Mr. Singer, a deaf-mute, and the misfits that gravitate to him. The intriguing part to me, though, is how McCullers plays with the idea of talking and listening. I wish I had counted how many times she used the word talk. She had people talking at each other, people talking with each other,  people who needed to talk, people who wrote letters to talk, people who wanted to talk to start a movement, people who talked because they were nervous, etc. And to have it all centered around a man who couldn't talk and couldn't hear! The main characters of the book all had something they obsessed about privately. They were alone with their inner thoughts until they met Mr. Singer. Immediately they all sensed that he was the kindred spirit they were looking for. He had the face and the eyes that made him their confidant. They followed him, visited him, and talked at him. They always attributed to him whatever traits they wanted or needed him to have. For example, Mick needed someone who understood music like she did...so she believed that Mr. Singer could even though he couldn't hear music.

The sad point is when you suddenly get a glimpse inside Mr. Singer's head and he doesn't understand what they are all always talking about. He is not their soul mate. He doesn't even consider them friends. He only has one friend...another deaf mute who was taken away to a mental hospital. Mr. Singer begins to do exactly what the other characters in the book are doing...projecting his needs and wants onto his silent friend. Whenever Mr. Singer would visit him at the hospital, he would unleash his hands from his pockets and talk/sign feverishly. Yet, his friend wasn't the person who he wanted him to be. In one instance, while Mr. Singer signed passionately, his friend stuck his finger out and poked him in the belly. That is all that Mr. Singer got in response. Yet, he wanted to believe that he was his one true friend so badly that he was willing to overlook it.

Its like the part of the story where Mick is trying to make violin out of discarded pieces that she finds around town. For so long she really believed that she could do it. When she nears the end of the construction, she tries to strum it and is shocked into the realization that it would never be like the violin she dreamt it would be. McCullers writes, "But how could she have been so sure the idea would work? So dumb? Maybe when people longed for a thing that bad the longing made them trust in anything that might give it to them."

When the characters finally had a chance to communicate and have others understand them, they often couldn't. When Mr. Singer stumbled upon three deaf mutes, he couldn't think of anything to say. When Dr. Copeland finally connects with Jake (they both love Karl Marx and want desperately to start a movement), they have a moment of understanding. McCullers writes, "The Doctor's agitation and his mild and husky question made Jake's eyes brim suddenly with tears. A quick, swollen rush of love caused him to grasp the black, bony hand on the counterpane and hold it fast." Not even a page later, they misunderstand each other and refuse to listen to what the other person is saying. They become furious...violently furious...and never communicate in the book again.

Do we miss out on the true connections that could be had because we don't know how to communicate...to listen and to understand? And how do we begin to find those people who are ready to listen and who can communicate back to us? Or do we even want someone to communicate back with us? The bartender, Biff, is often given the same attributes as Mr. Singer. He is a listener and is always trying to figure people out. He tries to connect with the same people who are so drawn to the silent Mr. Singer. But they never reach out back to Biff.  Is it because he has a voice himself? Do we really want to connect with people...even if it is messy and hard? Or is it easier to just talk one sided and listen only to our own ideas?

And how does a man like Hitler woo an entire nation with words? To have written this book in 1940, McCullers clearly is disturbed about this. Even as an author, she uses words to tell a story. She understands the power of words...and this book almost seems like her warning to us about what words can and cannot do.
____________________________________________________________
As I mentioned in my 2013 goal, I’m reading mostly women lit that focuses on women authors or complicated, strong female characters this year. Here is the list of my previous book reviews that I've done on this journey:

First: Madame Bovary
Second: Hypocrite in a Pouffy White Dress
Third: Patron Saint of Liars 
Fourth: Bird by Bird
Fifth: Frida Kahlo
Sixth: Women Seeing Women  
Seventh: Bridget Jones's Diary 
Eighth: Dorothy Parker's Complete Short Stories

Four Fun Book Recommendations

1. Ella Minnow Pea by Mark Dunn

2. The Enneagram Made Easy by Renee Baron

3. A Wrinkle in Time (The Graphic Novel) Adapted/Illustrated by Hope Larson

4. Moloka'i by Alan Brennert

2013 Reading Goal: Dorothy Parker's Complete Stories

My latest book on my 2013 reading challenge is Complete Stories by Dorothy Parker.

Rating: 4 Stars




Dorothy Parker's name kept popping up on every "to-read" list I looked  at so I knew it was about time that I read her work.  Gosh, she is a feisty, hilarious woman! She has the ability to criticize society quite harshly, but almost always ends up giving me a chuckle. She has a great written voice that seems at first to align with the character she is studying--then suddenly, she whips out these little brilliant quips that  show you the absurdity in the person or situation. Once you are familiar with her work, you can come to expect them--but it doesn't make them any less hilarious.

She'll go into these long spurts about things like the important role of "feminine touches"--how being able to straighten and move and tweak a living room was the important job of the wife. Parker will show a woman, like Mrs. Weldon in "Too Bad", going about doing her special role of "touch-giving" and afterwards, she stops to examine her work. It is at this point that Parker writes, "It was amazing how little difference they made to the room." And then the story continues. Its those small moments that Parker really shows her brilliance. She shows that society has given this idea that these small, minute details are what is important to being a woman...and yet, it doesn't even make a difference!

Regina Barreca writes in the introduction that "Parker concerns herself primarily with the emotional and intellectual landscapes of women, the places where a thin overlay of social soil covers the minefields of very personal disaffection, rejection, betrayal, and loss." And Parker does it very well. Occasionally her work seemed to repeat itself, but usually it was when she was focusing on a different area or emotion within a similar character. Sometimes this caused me to set the book down and wait for a while to pick it up again...as a "fresh" pair of eyes was sometimes helpful when reading her work. When reading them all in a row, you start to appreciate less her wittiness and satirical humor. Usually though, once I picked the book up again, I soon found another brilliant story that caused me to think about it for days later.

There were so many goldmines in this collection. Yes, many of them caused you to laugh at the absurdity, but there were also so many that were just devastatingly sad. It will be some time before the haunting story "Big Blonde" isn't running through my head. Or "The Lovely Leave" about a woman who's husband goes to war and she is left behind. Or the double nature of "The Waltz" where on the outside, a woman is completely nice to a man but in the inside she is thinking the complete opposite. Parker shows society's ideas that a man is too important to throw insult at...that this single woman can't quite throw him to the side even though inwardly, she cringes at him.

I reallyenjoyed these stories....and think that Dorothy Parker is an important female author to read. I'm so thankful to finally have found an intelligent and witty female author that has had a long, successful career. She proves that it can be done! More than anything, I do wish that I could meet Dorothy Parker and see what she was like. She'd probably rip me to shreds but it would be worth it, I think!
____________________________________________________________
As I mentioned in my 2013 goal, I’m reading mostly women lit that focuses on women authors or complicated, strong female characters this year. Here is the list of my previous book reviews that I've done on this journey:

First: Madame Bovary
Second: Hypocrite in a Pouffy White Dress
Third: Patron Saint of Liars 
Fourth: Bird by Bird
Fifth: Frida Kahlo
Sixth: Women Seeing Women  
Seventh: Bridget Jones's Diary

2013 Reading Goal: Bridget Jones's Diary

My latest book on my 2013 reading challenge is Bridget Jones's Diary by Helen Fielding.

Rating: 4 Stars

.

My boss and I both love Pride and Prejudice so we often end up telling each other of every single possibly offshoot that we can read and watch to satisfy our P&P itch. And this was one of them. She told me it was hilarious and that I had to read it. So I immediately put it on my to-read list. It took me about 50 pages in and I was hooked. (I always give books to page 77 so this definitely made the cut.)

Everything about Bridget Jones should drive me crazy. She obsesses over her weight, she freaks out over everything, and she is desperate to not be single. All of those things have always been on my "do not do" list. But gosh she is so funny. And somehow you find yourself agreeing with her, sympathizing with her, and understanding the complexities of what it means to be a woman! She bumbles around as a thirtysomething trying to figure out why her life isn't panning out to be what she has always pictured it to be....and what she can do to improve it.

She has a wide range of influences in her life that she is always getting advice from.  She bounces between her very verbal feminist friend to her homosexual friend who gives her tips on getting a guy's attention. She also has a mother who is trying to figure out who she is as a woman after spending years being a homemaker. When she tastes freedom, she goes wild. After one lunch date, Bridget says, "As I went to the till to pay, I was thinking it all over and trying, as a feminist, to see Mum's point of view..." And I think I love that most about Bridget. She is really trying to figure things out--as a woman who values feminism but also as a woman who values relationships and love. 

Fielding is hilarious when writing about expectations for women in today's society.  When getting ready for a date Bridget goes into how exhausted she is before she even has the date. "Being a woman is worse than being a farmer--there is so much harvesting and crop spraying to be done: legs to be waxed, underarms shaved, eyebrows plucked, feet pumiced, skin exfoliated and moisturized..." and ends it with "Ugh, ugh. Is it any wonder girls have no confidence?" Later on she says, "Wise people will say Daniel should like me just as I am, but I  am a child of Cosmopolitan culture, have been traumatized by supermodels and too many quizzes and know that neither my personality nor my body is up to it if left to its own devicees. I can't take the pressure."

I find it so interesting the thoughts that go through her head. Weight, men, food, single, marriage---the whole grass is greener on the other side thing. She has friends who are married and are dealing with affairs and communication issues. She goes to baby showers where all the parents are lying about how advanced their kids are. And yet, everyone keeps asking her why she isn't married. Tick tock, tick tock. People obsess over it so she is forced to constantly be dealing with the question. So much so that even as a reader, you start to wonder why she hasn't gotten married! Fielding points out the ridiculous in life while her character, Bridget, bumbles around trying to figure it all out.

The only bummer thing was that I had seen the movie several years ago so kept picturing Renee Zellweger and Hugh Grant as the characters. I didn't dislike them...I just didn't love them in the roles.

I also kept picturing Colin Firth as Mark Darcy, but I didn't really mind that one....

____________________________________________________________
As I mentioned in my 2013 goal, I’m reading mostly women lit that focuses on women authors or complicated, strong female characters this year. Here is the list of my previous book reviews that I've done on this journey:

First: Madame Bovary
Second: Hypocrite in a Pouffy White Dress
Third: Patron Saint of Liars 
Fourth: Bird by Bird
Fifth: Frida Kahlo
Sixth: Women Seeing Women

2013 Reading Goal: Women Seeing Women: From the Early Days of Photography to the Present

My latest book on my 2013 reading challenge is Women Seeing Women.

Rating: 4 stars

Goodreads

I did some searching on different art books that focused mostly on women artists. I stumbled upon this one and was delighted on the topic. What a cool idea to look at this unique relationship among women from the start of photography. When I picked it up from the library, I was shocked at how massive it is. It is big and slightly intimidating. I didn't even crack it open for a week. When I did decide to tackle it, I opened it up and sighed with relief. Oh yes, this is a pictorial history! I can handle a massive, giant book that is mostly pictures! And great pictures at that.

There was a great introduction to the book that explained the history of photography while focusing on the part that women played throughout it. It wasn't until the late nineteenth century that women really became influential in the photography world....all because "advertising by the George Eastman Company invited them to use the Kodak camera to become keepers of family memories..." And it didn't stop there. Women suddenly got hooked and realized the potential that this form of media has.

When reading about each artist in this book, I was reminded of how so many of them had been educated in art schools. Yet, because they were women, they were held back from becoming artists. The book says, "Photography...would still allow women to fulfill their expected roles as family guardians because its tasks could be divided up and was less demanding than painting or sculpture." Women encouraged each other in this medium. One well known woman, Catharine Weed Barnes, "lectured and wrote widely, urging women to take the medium seriously."

And they did! You can see throughout the pictures how important they viewed each picture. They studied movement, shadows, emotions, society, and of course, the female body. "In the interwar years, however, the nude female body became a subject of much interest to women photographers....they, instead of men, could control how the female body was represented."

The book also highlights the importance of the role of the one being photographed. In the back of the book there was information on each of the photographers...and also of the women being photographed. Sometimes there were even photographs that one female photographer took of another female photographer that was also mentioned in the book. It was great to fully recognize that each picture had two women playing their roles--and that there is an important relationships going on in each picture.

The book is laid out chronologically which is great in showing how pictures have changed over time including image quality, themes, and messages. It was also interesting to see various artists' influence throughout multiple decades. The one downside to this book is that all the information about the artists is in the way back of the book so I had to constantly be flipping back and forth to find out more.  My arms were tired by the end of it!

____________________________________________________________
As I mentioned in my 2013 goal, I’m reading mostly women lit that focuses on women authors or complicated, strong female characters this year. Here is the list of my previous book reviews that I've done on this journey:

First: Madame Bovary
Second: Hypocrite in a Pouffy White Dress
Third: Patron Saint of Liars 
Fourth: Bird by Bird
Fifth: Frida Kahlo
 

2013 Reading Goal: Frida Kahlo 1907-1954 Pain and Passion

My latest book on my 2013 reading challenge is Andrea Kettenmann's book on Frida Kahlo.

Rating: 4 stars

Image from Goodreads

For my 2013 challenge, I've been thinking a lot about self-portraits...what they mean and why they are important. I figured it would help if I started looking at female artists who delved into the realm of self-portraits. When I started brainstorming artists, Frida Kahlo was at the top of my list. I really didn't know too much about her before this book so I was happy to find a good introduction to her life and her work.

And what a life she lead! I had no idea about all of the medical problems that surrounded her life. The whole reason why she started painting in the first place was because she was cooped up in bed recovering from surgery.  They hooked up this canopy with mirrors on it so she could see herself. She said, "I paint myself because I am so often alone and because I am the subject I know best." She often had to wear a steel corset to help support her back and she was almost always in constant pain. She had dozens of surgeries on her back and on her leg which were themes that often arose in her work.
 
Kettenmann did a nice job throughout the book on showing insights on her paintings. When you first look at her self -portraits, they often can look emotionless...mask like. Kettermann writes "Frida Kahlo's self portraits helped her to shape an idea of her own person; by creating herself anew in art as in life, she could find her way to an identity. This may explain why her self-portraits differ in only relatively small respects."

When she lost several pregnancies, she painted some gruesome paintings that show just how sad she was...even though her face stayed pretty constant. Every now and then she would paint tears going down her face. After one surgery on her back, she was discouraged by the lack of progress that was made so she painted her head on a deer's body. She then painted arrows all over the deer to show what she was feeling. It was amazing how much her inner turmoil was captured in her paintings--even with her wearing her "mask" in most paintings.

I was really surprised at the subject matter that she took on. Her miscarriages, death, her sexuality, her pain were all themes that arose in her work. Diego Rivera said about Frida, "She [is] the first woman in the history of art to treat, with absolute and uncompromising honesty, one might even say with impassive cruelty, those general and specific themes which exclusively affect women."She really did not shy away from what she was feeling and going through.

Towards the end of her life she had to have her leg amputated which lead to severe depression. She ended up dying young (in her 50s) because of pneumonia but the book hinted at suicide since her last entry in her diary seemed much like a good bye. It surprised me that once again, a talented female artist was at least somewhat tied to the idea of suicide.

Fourth lesson of the year: Self-portraits are important in the role of self discovery. Look at what is going on in my life...my inner life...and reflect that in my self-portraits. I am the subject that I know best...so paint! 

________________________________________________________________

As I mentioned in my 2013 goal, I’m reading mostly women lit that focuses on women authors or complicated, strong female characters this year. Here is the list of my previous book reviews that I've done on this journey:

First: Madame Bovary
Second: Hypocrite in a Pouffy White Dress
Third: Patron Saint of Liars 
Fourth: Bird by Bird

2013 Reading Goal: Bird by Bird

My latest book on my 2013 reading challenge is Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird.

Rating: 5 stars

For some reason, I have never gotten around to reading this book until now. I am a big fan of Anne Lamott...mostly only because I fell in love with the book, Traveling Mercies, several years ago. I've tried to read a couple of her other books but never connected with them as much. Even so, I still call myself a big fan of Anne Lamott. And this book reminded me why I do.

I checked this book out from the library and immediately regretted not owning it. I used 22 sticky notes to mark passages/pages/excerpts that I adored...and that was me being conservative.

This book is a guide to writing. A very helpful, funny, and practical guide. But Lamott is able to do so much more with it then just tell you how to write. She tells you why it is so important to write and to read. 

Throughout the book she tells these stories that are dark, haunting, and beautiful. She shows how important the process of writing is...both for ourselves and as readers. She writes, "Because for some of us, books are as important as almost anything else on earth. What a miracle it is that out of these small, flat, rigid squares of paper unfolds world after world after world...Books helps us understand who we are and how we are to believe....they show us how to live and die. An author makes you notice, makes you pay attention, and this is a great gift."

She inspires us to find the truths inside ourselves that need to be told. That need to be added to this conversation. She says, "You need to put yourself at their center, you and what you believe to be true or right. The core, ethical concepts in which you most passionately believe are the language in which you are writing. Telling these truths is your job. You have nothing else to tell us."

So much of what she says makes me love books even more. I love the idea of connecting with the truths that other authors have inside them. I love the idea that I'm seeing whats important to someone else...what they've noticed and seen to be true. Lamott writes, "Becoming a writer is about becoming conscious. When you're conscious and writing from a place of insight and simplicity and real caring about the truth, you have the ability to throw the lights on for your reader." I love those moments that I have in books and I love the idea that it comes from the author really caring about the truths inside and around them.

She wants us to wake up, look around, and care for the people around us in order so that we can be more truthful in portraying the world around us. She says, "I honestly think in order to be a writer, you have to learn to be reverent. If not, why are you writing? Why are you here?" So she shows us some examples throughout about the times when she has reverently watched and been apart of the world. From one especially beautiful story, she says, "...there is still something to be said for painting portraits of the people we have loved, for trying to express those moments that seem so inexpressible beautiful, the ones that change us and deepen us."

In the last paragraph she sums it up perfectly when asked the question of why writing matters. She says, "Because of the spirit, I say. Because of the heart. Writing and reading decrease our sense of isolation. They deepen and widen and expand our sense of life: they feed the soul."

My 4th lesson of 2013 is:  Find the truths that are important to me so I can add to the conversation that I love so much. The best way to do that is by reading, watching, and listening to the world around me. And by being disciplined in writing. Every day!

________________________________________________________________

As I mentioned in my 2013 goal, I’m reading mostly women lit that focuses on women authors or complicated, strong female characters this year. Here is the list of my previous book reviews that I've done on this journey:

First: Madame Bovary.
Second: Hypocrite in a Pouffy White Dress.
Third: Patron Saint of Liars.

2013 Reading Goal: The Patron Saint of Liars

As I mentioned in my 2013 goal, I’ll be reading mostly women lit that focuses on women authors or complicated, strong female characters this year.  First book: Madame Bovary. Second book: Hypocrite in a Pouffy White Dress. And here is the third.

Rating: 5 Stars! (and an exclamation point)

Photo from Goodreads

 I read an interesting article a while back in the New York Times about the loss of faith in fiction. As a religious person myself, I’ve been thinking a lot about the fiction I read and if there are any books that tackle the depths and complexities of the religion that I know. I think it is incredibly hard to portray religion with truth and not have it seem hokey or overly dramatic. One book that I immediately thought of was, The Patron Saint of Liars by Ann Patchett. And lucky for me, it was on my list to (re)read this year. I've read a bunch of different reviews on this book and it really surprised me how little religion was brought up. Even with such a great, seemingly contradictory title! 

This story begins with the beautiful Rose, who has grown up in the church and believes so strongly that she is entitled to a sign from God that she looks everywhere for it. She says, "I did not ask for more than my share, one sign. That which was by rights mine because I believed and was so ready to listen." In the very next paragraph she says, "Nun or Wife, my choices loomed above me like giant doors, and I waited, listening for God to give me the word." She believes that those are her two choices and that God will clearly tell her what she should do.

So when a romantic, handsome man comes to her and tells her beautiful things...she assumes that this is her sign. She marries him and she is happy at her wedding. She believes she is doing what God has called her to do and she is happy about it. After a couple years of marriage, she suddenly could no longer breath unless she was out alone on the road...free in her car. She realized that she had "said yes to Thomas Clinton and later thought that I had said yes to God and later still realized I had said yes only to Thomas Clinton." She was nineteen years old and "knew so little that I took [sexual desire] to be a sign from God." 

Rose finds out that she is pregnant and she panics. She doesn't want this life...boring, routine life because she thinks that God has some other sign for her. She runs away from her husband and her mother and flees to a home for unwed pregnant women. She lies to all of the nuns, telling them that she wasn't married and that the father had died. Rose feels like she can leave her husband without telling him that she is pregnant because she will have to suffer herself by giving up her mother. That is her idea of penance...since she will suffer, she feels like she doesn't have to be remorseful.

It was also intriguing to me how all of her images of God are tied up in the men that she knows. She is so incredibly close to her mom, but she is always looking for the men to show her God. First she thinks Thomas Clinton is her link to God. Then she admits that whenever she asked for forgiveness at church, she really just asked forgiveness from her priest, as she often viewed him as her father.  Later at the home for unwed pregnant women she describes the maintenance man, who happens to be named Son, that he "seemed to bear all of our pains." Her language implies that she thinks of him as some Christ figure.

Rose fully intends on giving up her baby. She never picked out a name for her, she never made baby clothes...she really just shut her mind off to the fact that she was pregnant. At one point, she has a kind of exhaustion induced meltdown. She goes out to this field in the cold and demands that God gives her another sign because she misread the last one. She yells, "Your will be done. Okay? Tell me what in the hell that's supposed to be." Rose is so eager to do what God wants her to do but she is so lost at what that might be. Suddenly in her state of delirium, Son comes to save her from the cold. Patton writes, "The figure that came toward me in the whiteness was huge, big enough to be the Son of Man. He who so loved man He sent His only Son."  And suddenly, she decides she is going to marry this Son. She thinks that God is once again telling her to marry a man that she doesn't love. So she does it. She marries him so she could keep the baby. 

So she stays on and runs the kitchen. Somebody mentioned to her that suddenly, she was treated like one of the sisters. Rose replies, "That's an awful thought." And I have to wonder why is that awful? Is it awful because she always believed that she either had to be married or be a nun...and if now she is like a nun...she made terrible mistakes twice in her life? 

The book is divided up into three different parts, the first is Rose's story. The second is Son's and the third is the daughter's story, Cecelia. As the book progresses, Rose drifts further and further away. You begin to see just how closed off and weighed down from all her lies she really is. Rose cooks, raises her daughter, and is married to Son.  She barely has time for Cecelia and is definitely not the mom that Cecelia craves. Rose was looking for her own mom for so long that she couldn't even think about being a mom herself. I better stop there before I give any of the ending away!

As you step away from Rose, Cecelia takes a more center stage. Growing up among a hotel full of unwed pregnant girls and nuns, she has a unique upbringing to say the least. But in many ways she is lucky. She is growing up with religion but she has people that can help her negotiate the complexities of God. When she is dealing with something, Sister Evangeline tells her directly that "This isn't any sign from God." She is surrounded by various people who can teach and help her along her path. She isn't isolated and alone in her religion, like Rose. Yes, Rose was very close to her mom, but never did she mention that they were close in a spiritual way. They talked about make-up, beauty, marriage, movies, etc. Maybe this is why Rose was always looking to the men in her life for that spiritual void.

The first time I read this book, I naturally assumed that the Patron Saint of Liars was Rose. Her very first sentence mentioned how she was going to be a liar for the rest of her life. The word liar or lie must have referred to her at least a dozen times in the book. She was constantly lying to herself and the people around her. But the second time through, I couldn't' help but think of her daughter as the Patron Saint of Liars. Cecelia is surrounded by girls who lie about their lives--their pasts especially. She grew up with her lying mother. Even her father (Son) lies to her about being her real father. Yet, there is a part of the book where a girl mentions that all of the girls want to be her because she is different than them...but doesn't judge them. They all look up to her in a way. She is one of them but isn't one of them. She is guided by the nuns to see and have the touch of holiness that the town has in its water. 

And I can't help but think that if Cecelia really is the patron saint, then maybe her mother, Rose, was really missing her sign from God all along.

My lessons from this book: Learn from those around you. Talk to others about religion and God. Even when you can't articulate what you feel...try! Be open, be vulnerable.

2013 Reading Goal: Hypocrite in a Pouffy White Dress

As I mentioned in my 2013 goal, I’ll be reading mostly women lit that focuses on women authors or complicated, strong female characters this year.  First off I read Madame Bovary. The second one I knocked off the list was Hypocrite in a Pouffy White Dress.

Rating: 3 1/2 stars

Picture from Goodreads

I had a hard time getting into this book. Even after about 100 pages, I kept thinking...jeesh...300 more pages to go? Couldn't someone have edited this down some? But then things started to get interesting for me. While sometimes she'd be way over the top and I'd roll my eyes...other times she would hit upon  parts of her life that resonated with me. I loved the stories about how she wanted to be a feminist but she was still learning and struggling with what that all entails. She wrote about always believing that girls were just as good as boys...chanting on the play ground from a young age "Girls Smart, Boys Fart." She also "made a point of reading hundreds of biographies of famous women, then sprinkled my dinnertime conversation" about them. Then she would hit up her dad for money and not understand the ironies of that. She writes that her dad told her "I just think it's cute how you call me a patriarchal oppressor, then fifteen minutes later, you hit me up for money so you can go to the movies."

One of my favorite bits was about her first job as a coffee barista. Her boss was always giving the girls advice on how to get married. In one story she faced the idea of hairy legs..."I was chewing over the remark about 'hairy-legged women's libbers.' I'd always shaved my legs, and what did leg hair have to do with wanting equal treatment under the law, anyway?" I loved the moments in the book that were like that. Moments that really illustrate how a girl wanting to be a feminist suddenly is struck with the idea that she might be doing something wrong! Or just not understanding at all what something like a hairy leg might imply or symbolize. Gilman also tends to exaggerate and be over the top with things so some of the stories or moments of enlightenment are quite funny.

I also think that her struggle with becoming engaged and married were interesting. So many of the women lit that I've read in the past all have to do with women shedding the confines of marriage. Stories where the women can't breath or can't be herself because of the social constrictions on who a woman can be. While reading those stories as a young woman, I just assumed that I wouldn't ever get married. I've always been rather stubborn and not always the most "think of the other person before you" person so I figured I just would go solo through life. It seemed easier almost. But things turned out a bit different for me when my boyfriend at the time went away for a semester to another country and I was stuck behind...absolutely MISERABLE. I didn't want to live apart from this guy, this best friend of mine ever again. As I grew up, matured, and learned more about who I am...I realized that marriage did not have to be a box that I had to contort myself into. It could actually be more freeing. BUT it still was strange for me to suddenly be talking about weddings, dish sets, and linens. And Gilman does an excellent job on telling that side of things. She writes, "But as a feminist, nothing was as daunting to me as getting engaged. Because as soon as Bob slipped the ring onto my finger, it was as if we were instantly catapulted back into 1956. Virtually overnight, people stopped treating us like individuals and began relating to us instead as a traditional Bride and Groom--sex roles as shallow and reductive as the symbols on public restrooms."

She also tells the hilarious story about how much she resisted the white wedding dress...until everyone twisted her arm and guilted her into trying one on. So she goes into David's Bridal...puts one on and refuses to take it off because it makes her feel so good. She writes, "As I stood there, something else occurred to me: why did it take so long to have this experience? Every woman should have this experience--and not only if or when she gets married. Every woman should see herself looking uniquely breathtaking, in something tailored to celebrate her body, so that she is better able to appreciate her own beauty and better equipped to withstand the ideals of our narrow-waited, narrow-minded culture."

I gave the book a 3 1/2 overall...but I think I'd give it a 4 1/2 for the last 150 pages or so. I think she really hit her stride there---or maybe I was just able to connect more with it.

One last part I loved...she wrote about how she felt when her and her husband move to Switzerland. While I didn't move abroad...I did recently move 2000+ miles from my family and friends so I feel like its another country. She says..."Funny how glamorous stories about people going abroad always conveniently seemed to leave out this part--the unnerving schizophrenia of arrival--the panic you can feel in a strange city when you realize: whoa. This is it. You're not going home next week with a bagful of snow globes to hand out."


Lessons from this book: Embrace the contradictions! Don't be afraid to get everything right the first time. Be a life learner! (Insert other cheesy, motivating sayings!)